


Contact

by turnedherbrain



Category: Humans (TV)
Genre: AU, Angst, F/M, Leotilda, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2017-01-23
Packaged: 2018-09-18 00:46:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9355850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/turnedherbrain/pseuds/turnedherbrain
Summary: While we wait for if there's a series 3, I thought I'd write some Leotilda. This was partly inspired by a Tumblr user (sorry I can't remember who), wanting more Leotilda fanfiction. One of their suggestions was something like: 'Mattie joins a gang headed up by Leo and he tries to protect her when she gets in trouble.' This story is kind of that.It's set in an AU where Mattie's at uni and Leo's hanging around campus, recruiting people to his clandestine group. But basically it's just wish-fulfilment while the Humans writers are still teasing us with the slight possibility of Leo and Mattie ever getting together.





	1. Chapter 1

It wasn’t long into her first term at uni that Mattie was approached. It happened quite unexpectedly, and it wasn’t face to face.

Instead, she got a series of random messages on the headcracker forum, each of them purportedly from a different user, over the course of a couple of weeks. The messages made no sense, just fragments of words or sentences, interspersed with random, unintelligible characters. But, Mattie being Mattie, she wanted, needed even, these to be more than just spambots firing off. For a start, the messages always arrived at the same time: 11:55 each day. And as soon as they started to make a bit of sense, they suddenly stopped dead. 

She definitely needed a diversion. Her studies were interesting, but too easy for her, and her mind longed for something… a bit more… to keep her occupied. She’d made a few friends, but the promised student experience – the hedonism, endless drink, drugs and wild party nights – wasn’t the reality that Mattie was experiencing. For a start, her computer science course tended to attract the more anti-social elements on the campus, those who preferred long hours in front of their computer screens to actual human contact: Mattie kind of understood that. The clubs and societies handing out flyers in freshers’ week didn’t attract her – she wasn’t the joining type. At least, not that type of club, all sorority smiles and fakeness.

But the messages provided both a challenge and a promise of more interesting contact, so Mattie set about trying to find meaning. It took her another week before she got it and even then, she still wasn’t quite sure what to do next. Impulsively, she replied all of to the original messages, pasting the deciphered text. Almost instantly, a new message box appeared.

…………………………………………………………

Later that same week, on a frosty night about five miles from campus, Mattie parked her bike and looked around, both excited and nervous. Well, she wasn’t going to let it show. Shoulders back, head high, she knocked on the house door imperiously. The cracks of light from inside showed round the edges. The time was exactly 11:55.

‘Come in.’ James, the postgrad student who’d made contact with her earlier in the week, stood in the doorway.

‘James, I need to know… ’

James shook his head and motioned for her to come inside. ‘For now, all you need to know, you’ll find out tonight.’

She walked into a front room which was crammed with people. Mainly young men, mostly pale, like the only light they got was the reflection from their computer screen. She wasn’t introduced to anyone – it wasn’t that kind of gathering. The meeting was quick, understandably furtive, and left Mattie more excited than ever. She watched James guardedly out of the corner of her eye, and looked at the other headcrackers with barely disguised awe. She couldn’t quite believe that she’d been invited to be part of this, and all her usual aloofness vanished.

One person interested her more than the rest. Jet-black hair falling over his face, he scratched at his beard and scowled, head tipped to one side as if he was questioning everything. He kept himself apart too, even in this cramped group, and it left Mattie wanting to know more. He never spoke, but she could feel him glancing at her from time to time, and for some reason, she felt compelled to look up and make eye contact. When she did, his gaze slid away immediately.

The term continued, and so did the clandestine meetings. Never at the same place, or with the full group, but always at the same time. The invites came from different places too, and always in a coded pattern. Mattie felt fully charged, the meetings inspiring her to program more outside of her course, to challenge herself more.

One night, when the meeting had finished, Mattie got onto her bike to pedal back through the mist to campus. A figure appeared alongside her.

‘Nice ride.’ A gruff voice.

It was him, the man from the group with the jet-black hair and quizzical glance. It was so unexpected to hear his voice, she was momentarily taken aback. 

‘Umm, thanks? I left my car at my mansion.’

He laughed, which surprised Mattie. No-one ever laughed at her sarcasm, and it had the unfortunate effect of putting her more on the defensive.

‘Why are you asking anyway? Are you planning on accompanying me home? Or just stalking me there?’

‘Umm… neither actually. See you next time.’ He slunk off into the night, shoulders hunched, whether against the cold or in affront at her words, Mattie couldn’t tell. She felt embarrassed by how she’d responded. Great work, Mattie, really great. 

The rest of the week passed by as normal. Her extra-curricular activities were now taking up far more time than her studies. For anyone else, it would have meant a drastic drop in grades. For Mattie, who’d always coasted academically, it just meant she could do the absolute minimum to pass the course and spend more of her free time coding. On Friday evening, her friend Sara had insisted Mattie come along to a house party. ‘You hardly ever come out. One day, I’ll walk into your room and you’ll have coded yourself out of existence!’

Mattie didn’t really care, but she scraped her hair into a pony and applied her trademark scowling black eyeliner. She didn’t do LBDs, so instead she wore a loose, sheer top with jeans. That was about as dressed up as she was going to get.

On the way over to the party, Sara kept on looking back. ‘Don’t look now Mattie, but that bloke’s here again. I think he might like me.’

Mattie peered around to see the same hunched shoulders and bowed head she’d got used to at the meetings. ‘Oh yeah, I kind of know him.’

‘You do? He’s always around.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Outside the lecture halls. Sometimes in the café when I’m queuing for lunch. You mean you haven’t noticed?’

Mattie couldn’t believe she had been so absorbed in her inner world that she hadn’t spotted him. Stupid, stupid girl! Maybe he was a stalker after all. Well, two could play that game. Turning round, she called out loudly: ‘Hey! Heading our way?’

Her words had their intended effect; the figure slowed and turned off at the next road, vanishing into the shadows. 

‘How do you know he’s not still following us? said Sara.

‘I just do. Like I said, I know him a little.’

‘One of your weird classmates? Well, next time you see him, tell him he’s creeping me out.’

Mattie turned to look back, smiling wryly. She had a feeling that he wasn’t looking for Sara.

They reached the party and Mattie decided she was going to enjoy herself in a way she hadn’t done since she’d started uni. Glugging on Rekorderlig, she felt light-headed and almost merry, forgetting about the quasi double life she was now leading. She was glad to forget about it for the night and just be. Wheeling into the kitchen, trawling the table top for an unopened bottle, her hand met another’s, the sudden warm contact making her look up. It was James. ‘Hey. Didn’t realise house parties were your thing?’

‘Not usually, but tonight I just feel like forgetting all of that… you know…’

‘Me too,’ nodded James, then glanced about him. ‘Listen, do you fancy going somewhere quieter, somewhere we can talk?’

‘Where do you have in mind?’

‘Outside?’ suggested James.

Mattie, still feeling light-headed, shrugged and followed James into the back garden. It was a clear night, with a yellow harvest moon hanging low in the sky. She leaned against the back wall. James, moving too close for comfort, whispered: ‘Do you want to know something?’

‘What?’

‘I’m glad he suggested you join the group. And you’re so much prettier than I expected. You’re really…’

‘Who suggested I join?’ Mattie interrupted.

‘Wow – for an intelligent girl, you really don’t know much about human psychology, do you? He had his eye on you from the moment you got here. You don’t go winning all the school prizes, be the only girl on your course, and not get attention.’

‘James, just quit being all mysterious and tell me straight.’

‘Leo, of course. I’m glad he did. We all thought you were too young, too green, but he insisted.’

James’s lips brushed her cheek as he moved in to kiss her, but Mattie, starting to sobering up a little in the cold night air, ducked so that James’ nose clonked against a drainpipe. 

‘Bloody hell!’

‘Sorry James. I guess the drainpipe must like you more than I do.’ Mattie dashed into the house again, bumping against people in the hallway in her haste to get through. Wrenching open the front door, she knew what she’d see even before she’d seen it. The tousled black hair, the face half-hidden in the shadow cast by the overhead street light, waiting across the street for her. She strode across the road, willing him not to move. ‘Don’t go!’

‘I’m not going anywhere Mattie. I came to look for you.’

‘Well, Leo, apparently you’ve been looking for me a lot recently.’

Leo winced when she used his name, then shrugged, then didn’t apologise. ‘I only know what I’ve seen of your code, and I know yours is the best I’ve ever seen.’

Mattie was taken aback, not only because this was the most she’d ever heard the taciturn Leo speak in the few months since she’d met him, but also at the sudden compliment. ‘Well, it doesn’t excuse tailing me everywhere.’

‘I’m trying to keep you safe.’

‘I can keep myself safe.’

‘You have no idea. You’re so young…’

‘And you talk like you’re an old man who’s seen and done it all. Like you’ve lived your life already. You don’t know me at all.’

‘And you don’t know what others are capable of doing. You have so much talent, I’m just trying to make sure it doesn’t end up in the wrong hands.’

Mattie humphed. ‘Why is everyone talking in riddles tonight? What ‘others’? We don’t live in the movies Leo, this is real life!’

‘Then tell me why you joined us. How many other first-year students can say they’ve joined the kind of group that you have?'

‘OK,’ conceded Mattie, ‘I’ll admit that it's a bit shady…’ She smiled at the ridiculousness of her life right now. 

Leo blurted out suddenly: ‘You know, you look much nicer when you smile.’

Mattie couldn’t help herself: ‘So do you.’ Then there was a bit of an awkward moment, like they were young teenagers on a first date, unsure whether they could end the night with a kiss. ‘Next time you’re trailing me around campus, come and say hello maybe?’

‘I can’t.’ That was it, no explanation, no more words. Leo was back to being serious.

‘You’re really intense, you know that? Well OK, if we can’t be seen together in public, unless it’s on a night-time street, perhaps we could meet somewhere else?’

Leo shrugged, but inside turmoil was competing with logic. He was really bad at letting others see his emotions, unless it was his immediate family. ‘I know… somewhere. I’ll send you a message.’ Then he turned and walked off again, without saying goodbye.

Mattie spent the week suspended between highly-strung anticipation and anger that Leo still hadn’t contacted her. To add insult to injury, James hadn’t taken the knockback at the party as a message that he wasn’t in the running. Instead, Mattie was finding it hard to shake him off.

‘He’s OK, for a geek…’ said Sara, after James had spent the lunchtime telling them about his Star Wars figure collection.

……………………………………………………

When Leo’s message finally came through, it was the evening before the headcracker group was due to meet. Similar to the group messages, it just gave an address, a time, and an added letter ‘L’, just in case she was in any doubt as to the sender. Mattie reacted like it was a perfumed love letter. She dressed for the meeting with more care than she ever did, brushed her hair out and studied her face in the mirror, then grimaced. Pull yourself together, she told her reflection. He wants you for your programming skills, nothing more.

The meeting place was even more clandestine than normal, in a semi-derelict house on the outskirts of the town. Leo had put on a table lamp, but there was no shade, so the light shone harshly through the uncurtained window. 

‘Wow Leo, you really know how to treat a girl,’ said Mattie when she entered.

‘I’m sorry. Next time, I’ll take you to Paris in the spring.’ Leo smiled again. He looked much better when he smiled, and this time he allowed himself to lift his head up and gaze at her fully, intently.

‘You’d better.’ Mattie laughed. ‘Now, what are we doing? I’m assuming you’ve not got me here to recite me love poetry.’

‘No. Well… maybe later.’ He was competing with her for the title of most sarcastic now. ‘I wanted you to understand what the group are doing. Or at least, trying to do. I thought, if we’d let you know at first, you wouldn’t have joined.’

‘Leo, will you stop being cryptic. We’re not in MI5 you know! What the hell are you on about?’

‘The group. 11:55?’

‘Yes. I get it. Ha bloody ha. 11:55 – five minutes to midnight, five minutes away from the world as we know it ending. It’s the time that the Doomsday Clock was originally set to, right? It’s very dramatic.’

‘What if it were true? What if we are facing the global extinction of humans?’

‘Look Leo. The biggest threats posed to humanity right now are nuclear war and climate change. So unless some mad dictator presses the big red button, that ain’t going to happen in our lifetime.’

‘What about technology?’

‘Like, modified synths?’

‘Yes.’

‘Not possible. The Asimov chip…’

‘… could be overridden.’

Mattie looked at Leo’s face, so serious again, but so certain. He looked much younger in the full glare of the lamp, but she felt like he carried the world on his shoulders and that made him seem older.

‘How do you know?’

‘I have seen the program that aims to do it. It’s partial, it’s not perfect. But I think you can complete it.’

‘And why would I do that?’

‘Because you like a challenge?’ Leo grinned openly now. OK Mattie, admit it, you’re finding him stupidly smug and horribly attractive all at the same time.

‘And why would I do something that’s going to bring about the eventual destruction of all humanity?’ Mattie meant this to sound sarcastic, but she actually felt strangely dislocated from her surroundings, like all of this was happening in another dimension, and another person was speaking her words.

‘Because…’ Leo sighed, as if he’d had to make this point many times before, ‘if we don’t complete the code, someone else will. And I need your help in doing that. It’s like... imagine if the power of nuclear fission had only ever been harnessed for good. But it wasn’t; it was taken and warped, it was used to create weapons with huge destructive power.’

Mattie, always loving a good argument, countered: ‘Any person can create something that’s good, or with the idea that it will be used for good, but it can be abused when used by others. Oppenheimer was dismayed by the use to which nuclear fission was put when they dropped the H bomb. And, y-you know what? It wouldn’t hurt you to say please either!’

‘Please?’ said Leo, slightly mystified.

‘Yes, as in: ‘Please can you help me Mattie?’’

‘Please, Mattie. I’ve searched a long time to try and find people who are up to this job. And then I found you, and you’re completely unaware of how amazing you are.’

Mattie laughed. ‘Enough about me, talk about my coding.’

Leo smiled again. ‘You know, most people would have walked out by now. But you, you’re so determined, you’re so…’ he tailed off, looking down at the phone buzzing on the side table, the screen lighting up with the name ‘Mia’.

Mattie couldn’t help herself. ‘Girlfriend checking up on you?’

‘She’s not… I don’t…’ faltered Leo, and for the first time since they’d met, she heard a note of uncertainty creep into his voice. He bent to stash his phone is his pocket, leaving the call unanswered, then sat down, resting his hand against his cheek and looking dejected.

‘I’m sorry Leo. I can be a bit full on sometimes.’ Impulsively, uncharacteristically, she reached out and stroked his cheek lightly with her fingertips, feeling a shock of static electricity as she did so. Leo looked up at her, amazed, then gently pushed her hand away.

‘Me too. I’m no Prince Charming.' They looked at each other for what felt longer than seconds, until Leo broke the silence. 'Well…ummm, we should go. You leave first, I’ll follow in five minutes.’

‘I’m guessing you’ll arrange for us to meet in Paris next time?’ Mattie said slyly.

‘I guess so. But in the meantime, I’ll see you tomorrow night.’

’11:55?’

’11:55.’


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mattie tries to get closer to Leo.

After the first time she’d met Leo – really met him – term continued in the same vein: daily human contact on campus, lunches with Sara and James, interleaved with online messages from the group.

The second time they met, just the two of them, Leo gave her a phone and a SIM card, saying they should keep in contact that way now. She should swap the SIM card regularly. Mattie was someone who, despite her intelligence, didn’t always see into the heart of things, and her body suddenly went cold.

‘What we’re doing, it really is a big deal, isn’t it?’

Leo, bending to put his laptop away in his backpack, looked up at her.

‘Yes, it is.’ He saw the look in her eyes; recognised that inner trepidation. ‘You don’t have to do this. I was an idiot to have asked you. I’ll manage alone.’ He made to leave, avoiding her hurt glance.

‘Leo. Please.’ She had the urge to reach out and touch him again, the way she had the time before. He looked so sad and abandoned. ‘Please. I want to help you. I’ll do anything I can.’

And that was it. That was the moment that things started to go wrong. In fact, things had been falling apart much earlier than that, only Mattie didn’t know it yet.

…………………………………………

Another month of secretive meetings, and it was almost Christmas. Term was drawing to an end. Even the group had disbanded temporarily, and everyone knew that they wouldn’t be in contact over the holidays. Like frosty breath in the air, everything felt temporarily dissipated, suspended.

Only the meetings with Leo continued right into the final week, both of them working feverishly and silently, often into the early hours of the morning, when Leo would tell her sternly to get back to her halls of residence and get some sleep. 

Just before the holidays began, they were sitting in another abandoned building, still wrapped in their coats, a two-bar electric heater providing the only warmth. Leo always seemed to know how to quickly make home in any place they entered, and she wondered where his real home was. 

Mattie, yawning, checked her phone and saw the time was after 2am. She was dog-tired, the intense work wearing her down. Leo, on the other hand, was still gazing intently at the laptop screen, murmuring to himself and occasionally typing in bursts. 

‘How do you do it?’ she asked him.

Leo glanced at her in surprise, as if she’d suddenly appeared in the room and he hadn’t noticed. ‘Do what?’

‘Work like that.’

‘I just do. It’s what I’ve always done.’

‘Well, it’s impressive.’

‘No, Mattie. What’s impressive is what you’ve done.’ He gestured at the screen. ‘Do you realise it takes someone like me years of hard graft to understand what you simply intuit?’

‘You’re underestimating yourself,’ she admonished, leaning in closer to the screen. ‘At least half of what we’ve done here is down to you. It’s inhuman, the hours you can work before you get tired. Me, I can run for 14 hours max and then I need a good lie down.’

‘I work for that long, because I need to. Whereas you, you have a natural gift; I spotted that straight away.’

‘At the first meeting, when I joined the group, I saw you looking at me.’

‘Well, I was intrigued to meet the world-famous Mattie Hawkins at last,’ replied Leo with a smirk.

‘Alright, cheeky…’ laughed Mattie. ‘You should still give yourself joint credit though.’

‘It just doesn’t come so easily,’ sighed Leo, tapping the side of his head, ‘but at least I remember everything I’ve learnt.’

‘Like a photographic memory? You’re so lucky! I’d love to never forget anything. You’d smash your exams for a start.’

Leo didn’t laugh at her joke, but lapsed back into silence, looking at the screen as if to avoid more talk. Mattie wasn’t having this though, and pressed on. ‘What are you doing for Christmas? Mine will probably be the normal forced jollity with the family. Can you believe, my sister Soph still thinks there’s a Santa Claus?!’

Leo looked sideways at her. There was less than a foot between them, yet she felt like a distance had opened up again. ‘Listen, Mattie. For all sorts of reasons, I don’t think we should get to know one another outside of…’ he gestured helplessly at the screen again.

‘Ouch. OK, I get the message. You don’t want to know me at all. Well, if you don’t mind, I’ll be going now. See you in January maybe.’ Mattie gathered up her bike helmet and lights from the floor. ‘Oh, I got you something.’ She flung a small parcel into Leo’s lap, and then quickly exited. 

Leo made no move to go after her, but in the light cast from the screen, he opened the small gift she’d left him. It was a poorly made miniature Eiffel Tower, with the phrase ‘We’ll always have Paris’ on a scroll around the base. ‘Happy Christmas, Mattie,’ he whispered. Blinking furiously, stemming any more human emotion, he got back to work. He shouldn’t see her anymore. He’d made a mistake.

…………………………………………

In the new year, frost hung silently in the trees as the university halls started to fill up again. Mattie had returned to find that the boiler had broken in her building and she needed to find ‘alternative accommodation’ for the night. Great start to the year, she thought, wandering across the cold campus.

‘Mattie!’ A voice called out across the expanse. It was James, waving at her wildly. ‘Heard about the breakdown in basic services,’ he joked. ‘Do you need somewhere to kip?’

‘I was just going to find Sara and see if I could sleep on her floor.’ 

‘Haven’t you heard? Sara rang me. She could hardly speak – she’s got some kind of throat infection so she’s staying at home until she’s over it. Lucky her. I’d kill to get ill and miss some of this term.’

Mattie wondered exactly when James and Sara had got so close. She’d been so absorbed with… other things.

‘So, tonight’s your lucky night, Mattie,’ grinned James. ‘I promise you I won’t try to…’

‘You’d better not. But thanks. I was thinking I might have to bed down in the union bar.’

‘Grab your things and come over any time.’

When Mattie got to James’ room, she was surprised to find it neat and tidy, with everything in its place. There were a few small pictures on the wall, but nothing that really said ‘James’. She’d somehow expected him to be as slapdash in his habits as he was in his appearance.

‘You know, in all the time I’ve know you, I’ve never been to your halls?’

‘Sara has,’ replied James, leaving that statement hanging in the air between them. ‘Coffee? I can put a slug of whisky in it too. You look like you need to warm up.’

‘Mmmm.’ 

‘I’ll take that as a yes.’ James busied himself making the coffee, reaching for a bottle of Bell’s and unscrewing the cap, then pouring a good measure for them both into two matching mugs. ‘Seen anyone from the group?’

‘No.’

‘Not even Leo?’

‘No. Why would I?’

‘Because he thinks you’re special. That’s what he said to me: ‘Special.’’

‘I don’t think he’s so special.’

James sat down next to her on the single bed, the pale blue striped duvet tucked in under them and the pillow smooth and white. ‘He’s just like that, Mattie. He’s hard to know. You just have to keep on chipping away.’

‘What if I don’t want to?’

‘Look – when you first started seeing Leo, I’ve got to admit, I was a bit jealous. I mean, I felt like he was stealing you away. But now, I can see it makes total sense. You’re actually quite alike.’

‘James! Don’t say that. I’m nothing like him. And, for the record, I am not seeing him.’

‘Sara said…’

‘Sara’s got it wrong,’ said Mattie, as James passed her a mug, the heat emanating from it warming her hands. ‘Can we talk about something else? Anything, even.’

‘OK,’ said James, and proceeded to tell her at great length about his Christmas, including a story about his Great Aunt Margaret and her incontinent dog. Mattie tried to laugh in all the right places, but inside, she felt like coming back to uni had forced her into thinking about Leo again and whether she wanted to see him.

………………………………………………………

Leo didn’t try to contact her for the first week. Mia warned him not to. ‘Give her time Leo. She’s as proud as you are.’

‘I’m not proud.’

‘As much as I love you Leo, you are as proud and stand-offish as it’s possible to get. You need to be less… prickly. Then maybe she’ll like you more.’

‘I’m not prickly!’ said Leo, proving Mia’s point instantly. ‘And I don’t need her to like me.’

‘I think maybe you do. You should be careful not to hurt her Leo,’ remonstrated Mia, giving him a gentle hug.

He hadn’t told Mia about the small gift that Mattie had given him. They didn’t do Christmas in his family. At least, not the traditional Christmas, with a roaring log fire and a huge dinner. He had their love and their care though, and that was enough for him. 

‘Give her time’ rang in his head, on instant replay. He couldn’t forget what Mattie looked like, what she’d said to him, when she’d touched him, and he couldn’t help but rewind to those moments. Crystal-clear memory had its benefits and its drawbacks.

During the second week of term, he dumped an impenetrable bit of code onto the headcracker forum, thinking that the challenge would draw her out. Still nothing. 

In the third week of term, Leo woke up from another startling dream, in which he was drowning again, face and hands pressed against the window as he screamed for Mia. He sat upright in his unkempt bed, trying not to shiver in the half-light of dawn. He needed to get out. Pulling on his clothes distractedly, he winced as his hand grazed the old wound. It always hurt him more when it was cold.

Taking the road into town, he walked past the suburban houses, wondering about the lives that people led. He’d always played this game – what if he was a real human boy, living in suburbia, with an imperfect memory and a mum and dad just like the rest? 

As the reddish streaks of the emerging sun turned orange and started to light up the sky, his feet took him towards the university campus. There was only one other person around that early on campus, jogging past the library, and they watched as the young man with his head down and awkward gait crossed the quad. 

Mattie was woken by a gentle but insistent knocking. Thumbing her phone screen, it lit up to read ‘7:05’.

‘Gahhh,’ she moaned, and turned over. She’d never been an early riser, and she wasn’t going to change now. Whoever wanted her had better come back later. 

Knock knock knock.

‘Fuuuu…’ Mattie was annoyed now. ‘This had better be an emergency!’ she called out as she tripped over her duvet and sleepily ambled to the door.

Leo stood in her doorway, shivering, the morning mist dampening his clothes. Mattie was so surprised, she didn’t have time to be angry.

‘Can I come in?’

‘Ummhhnn,’ said Mattie. 

‘I can’t tell if that’s a yes or a no.’

‘Yes. No. Maybe. Do you know it’s only 7 in the morning?’

‘I acted on impulse. I’m sorry.’

‘Next time you have an impulse? Ring ahead.’

Mattie was aware that she was standing, one hand on hip, almost blocking the doorway. Leo stood still, sheepishly studying his scuffed trainers. He was thinner than she’d remembered him.

‘Well, you’d better come in. I don’t have any breakfast things though. You’ll have to make do with a cup of tea. And you’d better have a good explanation for waking me up this early,’ she grumbled.

Leo nodded, head still bent. ‘A cup of tea would be good right now.’ Stop it, stop being so abject and appealing that I want to hug you, she thought.

And that was when things got worse.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mattie decides to enjoy herself, and confronts Leo.

Term started back in earnest, and Mattie found that she could continue to coast through her studies, leaving even more time to concentrate on coding.

Since Leo had turned up at her door that morning, something had started to thaw between them. He’d sat on her bed, shivering, just saying that he wanted to apologise: ‘It’s not that I don’t want to get to know you Mattie. But what we’re doing, it’s too important to put you in a compromising position.’

Mattie, looking at his face directly, saw the flicker of something else. ‘I get that. Why right now though? It’s pretty dramatic, turning up at my door at first light.’

Leo forced a smile, and said: ‘Well, you weren’t answering my calls, so I figured it was time to take direct action. Plus, Mia told me to bide my time and not be an idiot.’

‘Mia’s right.’

‘She always is.’

‘This is what I’m talking about though. I don’t know the slightest thing about your life. Who is Mia? Your sister? Your mum?’

‘Both…’ said Leo confusingly. ‘Kind of. She brought me up.’

‘And..?’

‘And what?’

‘What else?’

Leo hesitated, then replied: ‘I have a family. I have a home of sorts. But it’s not the kind of home I could take a girl to visit.’ He looked crestfallen, which inspired some sympathy in Mattie. 

Realising he was still shivering slightly, she got up, wrapped her duvet round his shoulders, and said: ‘Whatever your family’s like Leo, even if your house is falling down… if a person likes you, I’m sure they’ll accept that, no matter what.’

Leo tried to smile again, but it came out more like a grimace. ‘Maybe.’

‘I’ll make us some tea. How d’you take yours?’

‘Strong please – just a hint of milk.’

‘Me too.’

They fell back into their former habits pretty quickly after that, meeting more frequently now, but always with the same level of secrecy. Mattie discovered hints of Leo’s family life – about his brothers and sisters and how close-knit they were, but not much else. 

She tried to remain satisfied with that – they were comrades, not boyfriend and girlfriend. Yet she couldn’t help but steal looks at him and wish for more contact whilst they were poring over his laptop screen. She’d got used to that intense look; the black hair framing his face, the three-day stubble. The glow of the screen lit up his eyes a faint iridescent blue. 

Get a grip Mattie, she told herself. He’s got your sympathy and admiration, but nothing more. The fragility that lay just beneath the surface appealed to her though; she herself had cultivated a hard exterior and didn’t allow people to really know her.

The increasing amount of time she was spending with Leo didn’t go unnoticed. James for one loved to tease her. Over lunch one day with Mattie and Sara, he suggested a night out, saying: ‘Look, I’m in the doldrums, study-wise. I need some cheering up.’ 

‘Me too,’ said Sara. ‘I’m feeling the mid-term blues, and we need to banish them.’

‘Mid-term, mid-year…’ replied Mattie distractedly. Her phone was buzzing on the bench beside her and she cast a sneaky look at the screen. 

‘Lee- oh – ohh – ohhh!’ exclaimed James gleefully, sharp as a hawk.

‘Stop it James,’ said Sara, mock-chiding him. ‘Mattie’s in love, only she likes to pretend she isn’t.’ Turning to Mattie now, she asked: ‘When do I get to meet him anyway? James says he’s intense.’

‘… and very handsome,’ laughed James, raising an eyebrow at Mattie.

‘It’s not… we’re not…’ insisted Mattie, lost for a retort for once.

‘What, the world-famous Mattie Hawkins has no comeback?’ continued James, taking delight in her discomfort.

‘OK James, time to stop now,’ scolded Sara, by far the more empathetic of the two. ‘Now, let’s plan this night out. I reckon pub, pub, bar, club.’

‘No way. I hate dancing,’ said Mattie.

‘I vote the same way as Sara,’ said James. ‘Looks like you’re in the minority, Hawkins.’

Sometimes he was so smug, she wanted to punch him.

Going to the group was way weirder now, even though it had become part of her routine. So she tended to ignore James and she completely ignored Leo. In fact, she didn’t dare look at him, thinking her expression might give her away. 

Leo was the mainstay of the group, despite remaining in the background at meetings. Mattie got the impression of an unspoken hierarchy. The best way she could explain it was that Leo was the commander and the others his lieutenants, although even that analogy didn’t fit well with the set-up. Although Leo never gave direct orders, she guessed the entire mechanics of the group were controlled by him.

Leo completely ignored her at meetings too. Like Mattie, he was hyper-sensitive to how even a look might be interpreted. However, he was secretly proud of how she’d fitted in and asserted herself; proud of her confidence and her way of being. For the first time in a long time, he felt they were making headway, and allowed himself to feel reasonably happy about the future.

Mia, of course, noticed the difference in his demeanour. In her characteristic way, she said no more than: ‘Meeting Mattie is good for you. Be kind to her.’

‘I will,’ he promised, and he meant it.

………………………………………………………

Mattie studied her face in the small mirror over her bedroom sink, only half-recognising her reflection at first. Sara had insisted on lending her a dress. Mattie pulled at the thigh-skimming hem, wondering if she could put her jeans back on.

Sara, sensing a counter-offensive, looked at her warningly. ‘Mattie, you have amazing legs. You’re no less of a feminist if you show them, you know.’

She’d let the insistent Sara do her make-up (‘We’re going to go softer’) and now, looking at her face, she actually thought that, for once, she looked pretty good. Meeting James outside, he whistled in greeting. ‘I’m a very lucky man, taking you two out tonight.’

‘James,’ said Mattie sternly. ‘One: you’re not ‘taking us out’ and two: you are in no way about to get lucky.’

‘Ouch! The Hawkins slapdown,’ mocked James. ‘Well, in that case, I’ll keep an eye out for the sharks circling you later. Believe me, you don’t want to make contact with those types. Are we heading off?’ he added, jerking his head in the direction of town.

‘I really need this,’ sighed Sara happily, half an hour later in the first of many pubs. ‘You wouldn’t believe how much coursework’s been piled on me this term. I thought the first year would be a walkover too.’

‘All the more reason to go out, get thoroughly comatose, and forget about it all,’ urged James, who’d bought their third round of drinks. ‘Mattie, you in?’

‘Definitely,’ replied Mattie. This was what she needed, a night out to forget about all the other stuff. She’d even wondered fleetingly whether to ask Leo along, but then dismissed the idea outright. If that suggestion had escaped her lips, the answer would be no. Other than the time under the streetlamp, they’d never seen one another in a public place.

A couple of hours later, the three of them swayed down the street from the latest bar and lined up outside a club. Mattie could feel the reverberations as she leaned up against the wall and bass escaped into the crowd. She felt stupidly merry and was rapidly losing her inhibitions. 

In the club, she even danced with Sara, avoiding the leering looks from around them, swaying and nodding her head in time to the music. Taking a break from the sweaty dancefloor, she moved through the crowd to where James was lolling at the bar, studying his bottle of Heineken. 

‘Whass up Mattie?’ said James, peering at her through the prism of the glass bottle. 

‘I’m good, I’m good,’ slurred Mattie. ‘Havin’ a gooood time.’

‘I’m watching you,’ said James seriously. Then he suddenly broke into a grin, and added: ‘I’m making sure the sharks don’t attack the little fishes.’

‘Cheers James, you’re my bodyguard.’

‘Mine too,’ said Sara, who'd joined them from the dancefloor. ‘There are some seriously dodgy blokes out here.’

Mattie spotted him then. He was right across the club, and she could hardly make him out through the gyrating bodies and the lingering dry ice. He was standing against the far wall, looking like he didn’t want to be there. ‘Leo,’ she mouthed silently. As soon as she saw him, he melted into the midst of bodies, and it left her wondering if the copious amounts of alcohol were giving her visions.

Finally leaving the club at 3am, they walked back to campus, singing at the top of their voices as they crossed the quad to Mattie’s halls. 

‘Night Mattie,’ shouted Sara, as she went in the building. 

‘Night Mattie,’ shouted James, even louder. She looked back as they wandered off, and noticed they were holding hands.

She fell on to her bed, checking her phone out of habit for any messages before she fell asleep. Nothing from Leo. She wanted to know if, and why, he’d followed her to the club.

She woke up the next morning feeling horribly hungover. In her groggy haze, she still wasn’t completely sure if she’d seen Leo the night before. The thought of him being there but not making contact continued to trouble her. She attended her lectures and classes blankly, in an automatic mode. The more time she had to think about it, the more Mattie went from being bemused and troubled, to angry. Hovering like some kind of dark angel, trying to ‘protect’ her. What kind of universe did he come from?

Leo had messaged her in their usual bland way, giving a house number, postcode, date and time. When Mattie arrived, she leant her bike against the broken-down fence and climbed the dirty steps to yet another unwelcoming house. 

Leo was already there, face screwed up in concentration at the screen. He barely looked up when she arrived, just said ‘hi’ and continued to work.

‘Hmmm,’ said Mattie in reply, not wanting to broach what was on her mind just yet. 

They spent the next half-hour in near silence, with only the constant tap of the keyboard. Finally, Leo looked sideways. 

‘Cup of tea?’

‘Mmnmmnn.’

‘Mattie. Look, I know I’m not much of a talker, but you’re normally the one keeping me going with chatter. Is there something wrong?’ he asked, in all innocence. 

‘There’s lots wrong,’ replied Mattie.

‘Tell me,’ insisted Leo. 

‘You. I saw you in the club. What gives you the right? You say you're protecting me, but it’s like having a ghost for a bodyguard. You’re, you’re just using me. Once this job’s finished, that’ll be it.’

Mattie had thought about how this confrontation might go, and that she’d be angry, but she didn’t expect to be on the verge of tears.

Leo looked down, internally running through all the words of advice Mia had ever given him. Nothing had prepared him for THIS. ‘I… I’m sorry Mattie. I don’t want you to feel like this. This work is hugely important. It has to take precedence over anything else. We can’t…’

‘I know.’ said Mattie bitterly. ‘No contact outside these meetings. No chance of getting to know you. No real friendship. No nothing.’

‘I’m just trying to do what’s best, believe me,’ replied Leo, his voice rising. ‘When I saw you at the bar with the others, you looked… stunning. I was so jealous that I wasn’t the one standing by your side. Do you think I’d choose to live my life like this?’

Mattie was aware that Leo had opened up to her more in the last few seconds, than in the whole time she’d been meeting him. But she was too upset and angry, so retaliated with: ‘Then it’s impossible, isn’t it? You want to get close, but you can’t. I want to get close, but you won’t let me. I think… I think it’s probably best if I go now.’ She didn’t want to cry in front of him, and the tears were brimming. 

‘Mattie, please don’t go,’ said Leo quietly. He held out his hand, beseeching her. 

Mattie didn’t reply. Instead, head lowered to hide the tears that were spilling down her face, she stumbled out of the room. Seconds later, the front door slammed, the dust in the hallway disturbed by the violence of the movement.

Leo waited until Mattie had truly gone, then clutched his side, bent double and howled in frustration, sadness and pain. He wanted to go back and permanently delete what had just happened, but he couldn’t.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mattie hears that Leo's in trouble and goes to help him.

Mattie resolved to live a ‘normal student life’ after that – whatever that was. No more group. No more Leo. At least, that was her outer resolution. Inwardly, she felt like a steel bridge after an earthquake.

Having lunch with Sara, she confided that she’d stopped seeing Leo. Sara made sympathetic noises: ‘I knew already, Mattie. Do you think no-one’s noticed? You shouldn’t close yourself off to your friends.’

Mattie nodded, knowing it was true. 

‘It’s not just him, it’s men in general,’ said Sara. ‘I mean, James, for all that he laughs and jokes, sometimes he just shuts me out completely. It’s like the shutters are down and no light’s coming through.’

Mattie nodded again. ‘The shutters were permanently down with Leo. I thought I could take that, but I couldn’t.’

‘You’re no less strong for it,’ said Sara reassuringly. ‘How you feel right now will fade. You have to give it time.’

Mattie finally smiled. ‘Thanks, Athena, goddess of wisdom.’

‘You’re welcome,’ laughed Sara. ‘Now, when all else fails, I always think chocolate cake is a great cure for any affliction. Why don’t I get us a huge slice to share?’

‘Sounds perfect,’ grinned Mattie. She watched as Sara headed off to join the café queue, then looked down at her phone. Messages from Leo, all of them unread.

………………………………………

After class the following day, Mattie was startled to find James waiting outside for her. He jumped up instantly when he saw her, in even more disarray than usual.

‘Mattie,’ he gasped, slightly breathlessly. ‘You need to come with me. Leo’s in trouble. He asked me to get your help.’

Mattie frowned at the mention of Leo’s name, but her hesitation was only brief. What was it she’d said to him? That she’d do anything to help him. And she was stubborn, but she was also loyal. No matter how things had stood when she last saw him, it didn’t matter right now.

‘What is it?’ she asked James, trying not to show her very real concern.

‘I can’t explain here,’ said James, looking about him with something approaching paranoia. ‘I need to take you and show you. Just trust me.’

Mattie pulled on her coat, and together they hurried across the campus to where James’ car was parked. Spring was in full effect now, but Mattie didn’t notice the apple blossom idling its way down from the trees. The roof of James’ car was coated in tiny petals.

She hardly had time to get in the passenger seat before James jerked the gearstick into reverse, swung the car around and drove them rapidly away from the campus. Mattie asked what was wrong, of course, but James just said: ‘Remember at that first meeting, I told you: ‘All you need to know, you’ll find out tonight?’’

‘Yes,’ said Mattie, bemused.

‘Well, the same applies here,’ replied James, his hands gripping the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles had turned white.

Ten minutes later, they were in open countryside. James kept on checking the rearview mirror, even though the roads were quiet, which didn’t ease Mattie’s nagging nervousness. Turning into a single-track lane bordered by high hedgerows, the car bumped over the split tarmac road until James pulled into a farmyard. Parking the car at a careless angle, he motioned for Mattie to follow him into the farmhouse.

‘Is Leo here?’ she asked falteringly.

‘Not yet, but he will be,’ James assured her. ‘We need to hide out here for a while and wait for him. It’s safe, I promise.’

He strode across the yard and shouldered the door to the farmhouse. For such a tall, thin man, he had some strength, and after two assaults the door gave way. 

‘You just need to know where it’ll give,’ grinned James, turning to look back at her as he stepped into the kitchen. ‘Now, since we may be waiting a while, we might as well make ourselves at home.’

Mattie stepped into the room cautiously. Unlike the places she’d met Leo before, the building was well cared for and homely. ‘Who owns this place?’ she asked James, who was already busy opening and closing cupboards.

‘Leo was living here with his family.’

‘’Was?’’

‘Yes. They had to move.’

‘And now?’

‘Now? No-one lives here.’

‘So they just left all their stuff and went?’

‘Pretty much,’ replied James, his nonchalance at odds with Mattie’s shock. Leo’s words reverberated in her memory: ‘… it’s not the kind of home I could take a girl to visit…’ She’d always assumed it was his poor excuse, but now she realised it really had been all about protecting her. From what, she still wasn’t sure.

‘Aha!’ shouted James, retracting his hand from the recesses of a cupboard, the sound jolting her out of her reverie. ‘I knew there’d be some coffee back here. And, knowing Leo as I do, there’s going to be some whisky hidden round about. I’ll search for that,’ he added decisively, ‘and make us some coffee with a kick.’

Mattie was left alone in the kitchen temporarily, which gave her some time to look about her, wondering if any imprint of Leo and his family remained. The only evidence of a possible disturbance was a heap of Jenga bricks in the corner, like someone had been interrupted mid-game.

‘Victory!’ exclaimed James, re-entering the room brandishing an almost full bottle of Laphroaig. ‘He likes the good stuff.’

‘You know quite a lot about him,’ said Mattie, irked that James had got to know Leo better than she had.

James, busying himself making their coffee, said: ‘As much as he’ll let anyone know. He doesn’t trust mere humans.’

‘You make him sound like he’s some kind of god.’

‘He has knowledge that will fundamentally change how we live in the future. What’s that, if not god-like power?’ mused James.

‘I never knew you were such a philosopher,’ said Mattie snidely.

James wheeled round, suddenly serious. ‘That’s your problem Mattie. You're too busy being sarcastic. You never take the time to study people, to really get to know someone inside out.’

‘With most people, I’m not sure I’d like what I’d find,’ retorted Mattie, stung by his criticism.

James wandered over to the table with their mugs. ‘You know, I think you might be right. Most of us do wear a mask.’ He held out his mug dramatically: ‘Let’s drink to something.’

‘What?’ asked Mattie, slurping the hot coffee.

‘To… human fragility. And human stupidity.’

‘James, you’re such a weirdo. God knows what Sara…’

Mattie couldn’t finish her sentence. The room was going out of focus and her words were slurring.

‘Night night, Mattie,’ said James, from what felt like far away.

…………………………………………………………

When Mattie regained consciousness, she found herself on a narrow bed which was slotted against the wall of a large basement room. It was only when she tried to get up that she realised her hands and feet were bound with cable ties. She screamed in anger and fear.

Keep it together, Mattie. Keep it together. First: what do you know? The state of disrepair and untidiness were so at odds with the farmhouse kitchen, she thought at first she’d been taken somewhere else. In case she was still at the farmhouse, she made a mental list of how far out of town it was, as well as possible escape routes she might have noticed when they’d entered the building.

She heard quick steps, then someone descended the stairs. It was James, only not exactly how she remembered him. He’d shaved, and his hair and clothes were much neater; less studenty.

‘I heard you wake up,’ he said bluntly, ignoring the fact that anyone in a two-mile radius would have heard her screaming. ‘I thought I’d pop in and see how you’re doing.’

‘How I’m doing?’ replied Mattie incredulously. ‘Well, let’s see. You drugged me and tied me up. So, not very well.’

‘All necessary precautions,’ replied James calmly. ‘I didn’t want you running off before Leo arrived. Not before you could play the damsel in distress.’

‘I’ll do no such thing,’ spat Mattie. ‘Who are you? Why are you doing this?’

‘Let’s just say… I’m a freelance worker… employed by several… agencies. And these agencies want what Leo has.’

‘The code.’

‘Exactly. And when you came along, you fitted into the scenario perfectly. You’ve even sped up the process for us. He’s almost completed the code. We won’t need either of you for the rest.’

‘And Sara? Didn’t she matter to you at all?’

‘Sara was simply a means of finding out more about you and your activities. She was very… accommodating.’

‘You used her. She had no idea!’

‘Human beings are very credulous. And if there’s one thing I know about humans, it’s that love makes them do stupid, impetuous things. Which is why Leo should be arriving,’ James glanced down at an expensive analogue watch on his wrist, ‘right – about – now.’

Perfectly on cue, she heard Leo’s voice upstairs, shouting out: ‘Mattie? Mattie!!’

‘Leo! Don’t…’ Mattie shouted back, as James moved swiftly to the bottom of the stairs.

‘We’re down here!’ he called in a sing-song voice, clearly taking pleasure at having complete control of the situation. 

Leo leapt down the stairs, barrelling into James. They flailed about, but James had soon managed to pin Leo up against the concrete wall and hold him there with some force.

‘Your laptop.’

‘It’s in my bag,’ said Leo through gritted teeth. James delivered a couple of sharp blows to Leo’s abdomen, causing him to collapse on the floor. He picked up Leo’s backpack from where it had fallen and took a look inside to ascertain its contents. 

‘Thanks for playing your parts,’ he said, not really directing his words at Leo or Mattie, more to the room at large. Then he bent down and whispered to the prone Leo: ‘Try to re-create the code and a lot worse than this will happen. First it will be Mattie. Then Mia. Then everyone you love will be gone. You’ll be left alone and you won’t be able to forget them.’

Leo, still badly hurt, struggled to raise himself onto his elbows. ‘I haven’t fought for this long to let you take it all away from me now.’

‘But that’s exactly what I’m doing,’ laughed James. Turning to face the bed, he said: ‘And your contribution was magnificent, Mattie. I couldn’t have done it without you.’

‘I was there to help Leo. Not you.’

‘Mmmm,’ said James absently, not really listening and looking at his watch again. ‘Well, I think I’d better be going now.’ He bounded up the stairs, and as the basement door opened, Mattie was sure she could hear the distant whir of helicopter blades.

Leo managed to get onto his knees and, still clutching his stomach, he crawled to the bedside. ‘Mattie…’ he gasped, collapsing next to her. ‘Are you OK?’

‘I think so. What took you so long?’

Leo tried to smile through the pain: ‘I see your sense of humour hasn’t changed.’

‘Nope. So, are you going to untie me?’

Leo lurched to a workbench along the side wall, uncovering a rusty Stanley knife which he used to cut the cable ties.

‘Thanks,’ said Mattie, truly grateful. She rubbed her hands together to help her circulation. She stopped as Leo bent over again, his sudden intake of breath giving away the pain he was in.

‘Here, let me,’ she said, lifting the hem of his t-shirt to assess the damage.

‘Mattie, no…’ murmured Leo. But it was too late, her hand had already found the old wound, and her fingers stopped there. He looked at her directly and saw her shocked realisation. ‘Now you know why I don’t want to get close.’

Mattie, still in shock, returned his gaze. She was struggling to find the right words, eventually settling on: ‘That’s because you have no faith in humanity Leo. Do you think, because you’re … different… that I wouldn’t accept you? Wouldn’t want to know you?’

Leo shook his head, tears in his eyes. ‘In all my dealings with humans, I’ve experienced nothing but rejection and pain. So you’ll have to forgive me if…’

‘Shut up, you idiot,’ said Mattie with mock severity. Taking his face in her hands, she kissed him, tentatively at first, then deeply and fully. Leo shakily wrapped his arms around her, returning her kiss. She moved her hands down to stroke his neck, arms, sides, her fingertips tingling wherever she made contact. 

Their kiss finally ending, she nestled close to him, breathing him in. ‘You’d choose me. You’d choose me over… over everything.’

‘James didn’t really give me a choice.’

‘Mmmm. Then it’s a good job we hid some malware in the code.’

‘It’s a good job you suggested it in the first place. And the trigger.’

‘Actually, it was you who suggested it. At least, indirectly. It was what you said to me, about something potentially good being warped and manipulated to create something malevolent. The original code’s still safe, right?’

‘Yes,’ said Leo emphatically. ‘It’s stored in the best hiding place I could find.’ He tapped the side of his head. ‘And, can I say Mattie, you were… magnificent.’

‘I played my part. Although the scream was real.’

‘I’m sorry. If Mia knew…’

‘…she’d warn you not to put me in harm’s way. But you didn’t. It was my decision. And, just to think, all that time you were following James, not me.’

‘I had my doubts about him.’

‘Why didn’t you warn me off?’

‘Mattie, you’re so headstrong, whatever I’d said would have had the opposite effect. Anyway, being besotted with you was a handy excuse to hang around campus and keep an eye on him.’

‘So you’re NOT besotted with me?’ teased Mattie.

Leo tipped up her chin towards his face and gently kissed her. ‘Mattie, there are some things…’

‘… that I really, really need to know?’

‘The magnificent Mattie Hawkins. You’re the bravest, most intelligent human I’ve ever met,’ he said simply.

She smiled and replied: ‘The amazing Leo Elster. You’re the most maddening, most adorable man I’ve ever met.’ Unwilling to move, she buried her face into his t-shirt, feeling their joint body heat. ‘What do we do now?’

‘Right now? We stay here, like this, for as long as possible,’ smiled Leo. At least, until the pain goes away.'

'Are the kisses helping?'

'Very much so.'

‘And... what then?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘Well, so long as you don’t suggest Paris in the springtime. That would be beyond cheesy.’

And that’s when things got much, much better.

At least, for now.


End file.
